Three Sides to the Coin
by sushisama
Summary: Dilandau desires Folken, but once he is denied, he plots a different approach of getting the man he wants... FolkenxDilandau, DilandauxVan. Citrus will be the extent of this fic. R&R, please. ^important notice put up^
1. Important!

As I'm sure we've all noticed, fanfiction.net has decided to get rid of all the NC-17 fanfics. This is a rather large disappointment to me, because a lot of the fics I actually consider to be 'good' are lemons and are now going to be taken off the site. Thankfully, I read this announcement in good enough time to go ahead and copy all the reviews I've gotten on most of the fics. Just because they make me feel all squishy inside. ^-^  
  
I will not take down this fic, though. Almost all of it is clean, with only references to sexual encounters. It seems kind of unfinished without the lemon I promised, but it'll have to do. If you want to read the lemon, when I finally write the damnned thing(god, I'm so lazy), you will be able to find it on my website, ' thirty-second experiment '. Or, you could just bug the hell out of me by instant messaging me as sushicandle(AIM). I won't send you away. Well, if you bother me too much, I might...  
  
If you all have anymore comments or suggestions, email me or IM me. Or just leave comments. I appreciate all the fans of this fic and I'm really sorry it's taking me so long to update. And I've changed the rating of this fic because I felt that PG-13 was appropriate. If someone thinks otherwise, just say so, and I'll up it to R. 


	2. PreludeNighttime Disappointment

**Title :  **Three Sides to the Coin

**Part :  **prelude / ****

**Part Title : **Nighttime Disappointment

**Authour : **~sushisama~ (sbolce@esper.com)

**Warnings : **Yaoi / shounen-ai, my friends!  This is an angst fic between Dilandau and Folken, and Dilandau and Van.  There isn't going to be much sexual content, side from some citrus, until the final chapter, which will be lemon.

**Disclaimer : **Tenkuu no Escaflowne and all characters within in this fic are copyrighted to Sunrise.  Don't bother suing, because even though I have money, it isn't much.

**Notes : **First of all, I want to voice my opinion that there should be more Dilandau x Folken fics, damnit.  Too many Dilandau x Van fics...  Way too many...  *cough*  _Anyways_, I'd also like to note that I've only seen a little of this series, and then only once.  If there are any mistakes, you can both ignore it and bare with me, or you could tell me about it and I will/ will not fix it (depends on if it changes the story to awfully much).  Begins before the start of the series (six months or so).

**Something new! : **Do you not like this fic solely because it has yaoi /shounen-ai in it?  Well, instead of sending me a simple flame review, why not send me a whole-blasted form?  Go to http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=499124 and fill it out!  ^_^

**/ / = thoughts     [ ] = dreams     ( ) = flashbacks**

::*~~*::

            Dilandau was unsure what had led him here.  He remembered, vaguely, the nightmare he had had earlier that evening, but it was no reason to come _here_.  It would only make him weak, to himself mostly, needing someone after a bad dream.  He had so many and had never needed help before; what was different about this one?

            The nightmare wasn't even that bad.  Death...  The teenager always saw death when he closed his eyes, blood and fire in his thoughts almost every second of thinking.  There were, of course, exceptions to this.  Whenever he was around _him_, his thoughts differed immensely, turning in directions he never wanted to think about...

            "Folken..." the boy whispered to the sleeping form of his commander, standing next to the bed.  Why was he here?  A nightmare?  That couldn't be it.  There must be something else, something more important to waste his time to see Folken.  

            / Then don't waste your time, giving him a chance to wake up, / he thought harshly to himself.  / Turn around and walk out.  It's _that_ simple. /

            But for some reason, Dilandau found himself rooted to his spot, unable to leave.  He cursed himself softly, keeping his eyes on the sleeping man.  After what seemed like an eternity (but only three minutes), Dilandau finally made his move; not for the door but closer to Folken's bed.  He calmly slid onto the silk sheets, taking a seat next to his commander's body.  

            He stared down at the man, memorizing the lines and curves of Folken's face.  The silver-haired boy had seen it so many times, but somehow... didn't see whenever he did.  Seeing him sleeping somehow brought out the natural beauty of the man.

            / Natural beauty...?  Where did that come from? / he scolded himself.  / This makes me too soft.  I need to go.  Must leave.  Must not let this weaken me... /

            Dilandau finally made a move to stand up when his wrist was caught by Folken's flesh hand, forcing him to sit back down.  The teenager's eyes widened at the sudden movement and he tried to pull away from instinct.  However, Folken just gripped his wrist tighter, opening his eyes, no-longer looking asleep.

            "What are you doing here, Dilandau?" the man's voice came smoothly, though a little tired.

            "I..."  Dilandau hesitated.  Again he asked himself, 'What _am_ I don't here?', but his mind would not answer him.  He just looked away towards the door, wanting oh-so-much to run back to his chambers right about now.

            Folken sat up, letting go of the child's wrist.  Dilandau saw his chance to run, but for some reason, he was again rooted to his spot.  He cursed whatever forces were binding him here against his will.  He simply continued to stare at the door, not saying anything, nor moving.

            "Dilandau," Folken called, "what are you doing here?  Are you trying to ruin my rest?"  His voice was a some-what littered with jesting, unusual for him.  Being tired must make him friendlier, in some strange way, was all the boy could reason.

            "I..."  Again, Dilandau failed, not knowing exactly how to get out of this.  Folken just stared at him silently, his left brow somewhat cocked in suspicion, waiting for the teen to answer.

            When the silence stretched for what Folken believed was too long, he reached his left hand to gently touch Dilandau's bare shoulder.  The warm contact sent a wonderful shiver down the boy's spine, one that both chilled and excited him.

            / Excited... / he thought to himself in an amused sense.  / That's why... /

            Before his thoughts could catch up with his body, Dilandau had caught Folken's wrist and held it gently as he repositioned himself to sit in the man's lap.  When he had one leg in between Folken's legs and one to the side of his right, he came to rest on his knees and brought the hand he held to his face.  He looked up into Folken's dark eyes to see if he was detesting to this, but the man had a semi-stoic look upon his face and made no gesture for him to stop.

            Somewhat assured he wasn't going to be pushed away, Dilandau massaged the palm of Folken's hand with his thumb while his tongue slid out and licked the tip of the index finger.  Though Folken's facial expression did not visibly change, Dilandau could tell that he had sent a shiver into the man, just like how he had just done to the teen a moment ago.  Smiling feral, Dilandau took the entire finger into his mouth, sucking on it, nipping it, and licking it.  He was slow in his actions, all the while his eyes were locked with Folken's.  The man was closing his eyes half-way, his mouth parted slightly and a contented sigh passing his lips.

            Dilandau give this treatment to each of Folken's fingers, being agonizingly as slow as he could be.  When he felt he had done enough, he gave his palm a quick lick before working his way up the man's arm with bites and kisses.  As he got further, he started to lean closer to Folken, his thigh rubbing up against the man's groin.  This, finally, got a sound from the stoic commander, the moan that escaped his lips pleasant to Dilandau's hopeful ears.  Another pleasant thing was _how_ that groin was reacting to the teen's ministrations.  Oh, Folken seemed to be enjoying this _very_ much.

            Dilandau lingered at Folken's neck for awhile, giving his commander a deep bite.  Above him, he heard Folken give a short hiss, but he did not push him away, meaning he either liked it or was just indifferent to it.  Dilandau smiled at that.  He made the bite deep enough that it bled a little and he gladly licked up the trail of crimson, the coppery taste over-taking his senses.

            Folken pulled his right leg to him, pulling Dilandau to the junction of his hip and leg, rubbing the youth's groin against him.  Dilandau groaned audibly at the sensation of his erection being felt by something other than his own hand.  He pushed his thigh roughly into Folken's own erection as a reaction to it.  Again, the relatively silent man made a moan, pleasing the teenager immensely.

            Dilandau finally came up to lock eyes with Folken, their gazes holding for a long time.  They met half-way into a passionate kiss, their tongues instantly lashing out to battle with the other for dominance, Dilandau's hands instantly coming up to run through Folken's hair.  They explored each other's mouths while Folken's flesh hand wound his fingers through the teen's silver hair.  His prosthetic hand moved gently to the small of his back, pushing him deeper into the embrace, Dilandau's erection again being pulled against his side (which in turn made Dilandau's leg move closer to his own erection).

            When they pulled away for breath, Dilandau was smiling still, but Folken looked unphased still.  This upset Dilandau a little, and he frowned in response, asking, "Is something wrong, Folken?  Do you not like this?"

            "We should not do this," Folken said simply in a matter-of-fact tone.  "It is a distraction.  We should let ourselves fall into such... business."

            Dilandau smiled some to that.  He brought down one of his hands to run along Folken's bare, muscled chest.  "Sometimes a distraction is nice..."  His hand traveled down to Folken's lower half, touching the man's erection with a feather-light grace.  Folken inhaled sharply, his eyes closing briefly.  Dilandau's smile grew.  "And apparently, you want one as well."

            Folken took Dilandau's hand into his own.  "Regardless, it is still a distraction, Dilandau.  You should not be doing this.  _I_ should not be doing this."

            Dilandau took on a face of mock-hurt.  "Are you saying you deny wanting me?"  He grinned.  "Because I think you'd be lying then."

            "I deny nothing, Dilandau," Folken said calmly.  "I just think that no good will come of this.  You should go back to sleep."

            Dilandau leaned in close, nose to nose with his commander.  "And if I like where I am?"  He ground his thigh against Folken once more, just to hear the groan of pleasure that escaped the man's lips.  "And if you like where I am, too?"

            Folken closed his eyes at the feel of Dilandau so close.  He was quickly weakening...  / Get him off, before something happens... /  Taking a great deal of will, Folken put his arms underneath the child's arms (gently with his right hand especially) and lifted Dilandau off his lap and to the side of him while slipping a way himself.  

            Dilandau did not feign hurt like last time, but had a _real_ look of disappointment.  "You can't be serious, Folken.  We're just going to _stop_?"

            "Yes, before anything else happens," Folken replied, lacking emotion.  "Now get out.  I don't want you to do this again."

            "But, _Folken_," Dilandau pleaded, "if you want me and I want you, what's there to care about?  So what if it's a distraction?  At least it's a _good_ one.  Come on."  Again he leaned in close, stealing a kiss before Folken shoved him away.

            "_Go_," Folken commanded in an icy tone.  "Go back to sleep, Dilandau.  Forget about it."

            Dilandau took on an expression of anger, his teeth gritted in frustration.  "Fine!" he nearly shouted.  He stood up abruptly, his fists clenched in anger.  "Doesn't mean I'll forget it.  I will get what I want, Folken, one way or another."  With that, he turned on his heel and stomped out the door, slamming it behind him.  He walked hastily down to his chambers, cursing all the way.

            "Hate you....  Hate you...  I hate you so much, Folken," he hissed to himself.  "You'll suffer for rejecting me.  I'll have it so you _beg_ for me to have you.  I hate you, Folken.  Hate you."

            Back in his room, Folken felt guilty about leading the teen on as far as he had, and about not finishing it.  Now he had an erection that wouldn't go away, especially with images of Dilandau doing more than pleasant things to him dancing around in his head.  He ended up taking away the strain the only way he knew how – with his hand – all the while pleasurable images of the teenager writhing beneath him in ecstasy running in his thoughts.

            Sighing once he was done and had a mess he honestly didn't feel like dealing with, the commander laid back down, his seed still on his hand, the scent of it still in the air.  He was plagued of images of Dilandau and could not get to sleep for an hour.  Once he did, though, he did not escape: his dreams were full of the pyromaniac, and all of the things he could do to him...  

The ending wasn't exactly is I'd like it to be, but that's okay!  It was probably bad the whole way through, so it really doesn't matter.  Second part comes up whenever I feel like typing it up.  Teehee, I'm lazy.  Read and review, please.


	3. OneConflicting Reasons

**Title :  **Three Sides to the Coin

**Part :  **one **/**

**Part Title : **Conflicting Reasons

**Authour : **~sushisama~ (sbolce@esper.com)

**Warnings : **Yaoi / shounen-ai, my friends!  This is an angst fic between Dilandau and Folken, and Dilandau and Van.  There isn't going to be much sexual content, side from some citrus, until the final chapter, which will be lemon.

**Disclaimer : **Tenkuu no Escaflowne and all characters within in this fic are copyrighted to Sunrise.  Don't bother suing, because even though I have money, it isn't much.

**Notes : **Part one!  Ho-hum, how fun.  I actually put some _thought_ into this one.  Amazing, isn't it?  Teehee.  I'd like to point out, just like I had before, that I've seen very little of this series, and remember even less of it.  If something's out of place, either ignore it and pretend it's something AU-ish (that a word?) or yell at me via email, and I may or may not fix it.  Read and review, please.

**Something new! : **Do you not like this fic solely because it has yaoi /shounen-ai in it?  Well, instead of sending me a simple flame review, why not send me a whole-blasted form?  Go to http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=499124 and fill it out!  ^_^

**/ / = thoughts     [ ] = dreams     ( ) = flashbacks**

::*~~*::

            The next few weeks went with little to no incident.  Folken, however, seemed to be avoiding Dilandau, something that annoyed the Dragonslayer greatly.  Whenever they were forced to do something together, the teen would somehow sneak in silent whispers of longing into the man's ear, giving him feather-light caresses.  Each time, however, Folken would ignore him or shove him away, being as stoic as ever.  

            Dilandau was finally getting the hint that Folken wasn't going to cave in easily.  It was not that Folken did not want him; no, it was quite the _opposite_ of that.  He could see the obvious longing in the Strategos eyes, longing he seemed to believe whole-heartedly that he couldn't fulfill, another thing that had been frustrating Dilandau.  

            What was wrong with a little distraction?  He was still confused as to what happened that night.  One moment he was on Folken's lap, ready to let the man have him, the next he was being shoved away with a pathetic excuse.  

            _"It is a distraction.  We should not let ourselves fall into such... business."_

            What was _that_ supposed to mean?  He wanted to ask him, but he never got a long enough time alone with the commander, that added to the fact Folken was still avoiding him.  Not to mention with the hormones Dilandau had, if he _did_ get a long enough time alone with him, he'd jump the man _instantly_.  

His desire for Folken grew more and more each day.  He even started to notice all the features of him he had missed before.  How attractive he looked with his well-defined body but modest-some-what monstrous-looking right arm.  How sad he seems with that tear under his eye, one that Dilandau kept wanted to just lick away for him...

/ Ch'!  How _girly_ of me to want to lick his sadness away, / he thought bitterly to himself.  / I'd much rather be fucking his brains out... /

After a month after his rejection, Dilandau finally found his chance to talk to Folken.  The commander had asked him in and was talking about something-or-another(probably something to do with tactics).  Dilandau was only half-paying attention, if that much.  His mind was buzzing in different directions, thinking of what he should say to get the conversation started.  And what to say that wouldn't lead him to just leaping at Folken and ravishing him.  He felt that if he was going to do this that the other party should at least give consent.  He didn't know why he would honestly care, though.  All these feelings were really starting to bother him...

He became lost in his thoughts, unaware when Folken had stopped talking to him.  His feet were perched up on the small table in the Strategos' room, his chin resting on his palm.  To Folken it looked like the child was bored out of his mind.  He frowned.

"You're not listening are you, Dilandau?" he asked sternly.  

Dilandau snapped from his reveries, his attention reached by someone speaking his name.  He looked up at Folken, an almost innocent look in his eyes.  Though, Folken knew for a fact that the child was far from innocent.

"Huh?" Dilandau said dumbly.

"Is something on your mind, Dilandau?" Folken asked curiously, some-what fearing the answer.

"Ah, just somewhat..."  He chuckled.  "... _distracted_."  He grinned ferally.

Folken's brow creased in worry.  He had a feeling Dilandau would bring this up, sooner or later.  "Odd choice of words.  What are you distracted by?"

The teen looked angry briefly before it faded to something more of a predatorily visage.  "My dear Strategos, don't play dumb.  You know _exactly_ what I'm thinking about."

Folken sighed.  "Dilandau, please.  Just forget it.  It should've never got as far as it got..."

"It didn't get _far_, Folken," Dilandau hissed, becoming agitated.  "It got _nowhere_."  He stood from his chair, no longer feeling like he could sit still.  He paced to the center of the room, mumbling, "but it should've at least gotten _somewhere_."

Folken sighed once more.  "No, it shouldn't have.  Why can you not let this go?"

Dilandau turned abruptly to the commander and strode over to him, looking determined.  "Why can't _you_?" he growled.  "I see it in your eyes, Folken.  You want this as much as I.  Why not let yourself go?"

"What makes you so sure, Dilandau?" Folken asked, his stoic façade in place.

"Am I not good enough for you, Folken?  Are you saying you do not desire me?"  Something in Dilandau's chest panged at the thought.  It hurt, to b rejected in such a manner...

"No, I'm not saying that," Folken defended sincerely.  "I am just saying that you should not be so certain that I want you as much as you want me."

"Then you do not deny wanting me?"

"_Dilandau_," Folken said in a warning tone.

Dilandau leaned a little on the table, staring straight into Folken's eyes.  "Why hold back?  It's more distracting if we don't than if we do, you know?  Come on, Folken.."  He leaned in close to his commander, barely touching the older man's lips before being roughly shoved away.

"What is wrong with you?" Dilandau hissed.  "Why won't you do this?"

"I told you – I will not be caught up in such a distraction."  Folken stood from his seat, standing next to Dilandau.  "Now, if we are done talking, I think that you should –"

"Are you that much of a coward?" Dilandau interrupted.  "Hiding behind an excuse, instead of going after what you want?  Do I scare you, Folken?"

Folken's stoic expression phased to one of anger as he pushed Dilandau back onto the table, making the child grip the edges so he did not fall onto the wood.  Folken's left hand was to Dilandau's side while his prosthetic hand came to his cheek, gently running down, sending a shiver through Dilandau.

"I am no coward, Dilandau," Folken said in a harsh tone.  "I take what I want.  No questions asked."  He leaned in close, his lips inches from Dilandau's.

Dilandau allowed his eyelids to sink half-way, liking how this was being to turn out.  "Then why not take what you want, Folken?" he purred.  "I'm right here, defenseless..."  He smiled.

Folken took on his stoic expression once more.  "Would you be angry with me if I didn't?"

"Very.  It would only add to the frustration you gave me last time."

"What will you do, if I don't make the first move?"

"What can I do?  You've done nothing but ignore my advances so far."  He sneered.  "It seems that I have to wait on _you_ for the first move, or nothing will happen."

Folken smiled slyly.  "Then you'll just have to wait, now won't you?"

"Folken!" Dilandau yelped, his voice almost reaching that of pleading.  "Don't...  Folken, please, don't reject me again..."

The Strategos kissed the bridge of the child's nose affectionately, whispering, "I'm not rejecting you, Dilandau.  Not entirely, anyways."

"Then what are you doing?"  Dilandau's voice had gone eerily soft.

"I... I'm not sure yet," Folken admitted.  "I just can't take you, Dilandau, even if I do want you."

"But _why_?"

Folken shook his head.  "You wouldn't understand..."  He sighed and straightened himself out.  "You should go now."

Dilandau stay where he was, staring blankly at the commander.  "What wouldn't I understand, Folken?"

"Please, Dilandau, just leave."  He sighed.  "I need to think about this..."

"What's there to think about?"  Dilandau reached out and clasped his arms around Folken's neck, pulling himself up so he could kiss the man.  However, Folken put a finger to the child's lips and pushed him away slightly.  "Folken--?"

"You're angry with me, remember?" he spoke softly.  "_I_ have to make the first move, or nothing gets done.  Keep that in mind."  With that said, he leant down and brushed his lips gently along Dilandau's, only in a feather-light caress.  He gently pushed the boy away, smiling some-what.  "Now, go away.  I'm done talking about this."

Dilandau sighed in defeat, detaching himself from the Strategos.  He was going to get nowhere at this rate.  Why even bother?  He began to walk out, before stopping and facing the commander again.  "Folken," he called.

"Yes?" Folken replied, turning slightly in his direction.

"Don't take too long to think about it – you may lose your chance."  / Not likely, I don't know who else I'd go for, but it might provoke him... /

Folken frowned in a little.  "I hope I don't," he muttered, allowing Dilandau to just barely hear it.

Feeling some-what satisfied with that answer, the Dragonslayer turned towards the door and left.  He was glad to know that Folken at least felt _something_ for him, but felt horrible about the fact that he was playing on it.  Oh, gods, did he want that man.  It almost hurt inside to think of having someone else to be with, though he wasn't quite certain what the big deal was.  So what if he found someone that was willing to go along with his lust?  Folken would've just missed out on his chance then, it would be his fault.

Then why did it hurt so much to think of being with anyone else?  It was disturbing...

Would he be able to wait for Folken?  Would he have to choose someone else to satisfy his needs in the end?

/ Please, Folken... / he pleaded silently as he walked back to his chambers.  / Don't take too long to decide... /

I apparently love that sappy stuff, huh?  Fluff is the best, man...  Anyways, this part's short, I know, but next time will be longer.  I swear to you guys.  And for you DilandauxVan lovers, that's coming up in the next part, too.  Read and review!


	4. TwoIntroduction to Disaster

**Title : **Three Sides to the Coin

**Part :  **two **/**

**Part Title : **Introduction to Disaster

**Authour : **~sushisama~ (sbolce@esper.com)

**Warnings : **Check the prelude.  I've gotten sick of writing it over and over (only two parts, even.  I'm just _that_ lazy)

**Disclaimer : ****points to the 'warnings' section**

**Notes : **Wow, I'm getting through this relatively quickly.  That's highly unusual for me.  Is the world ending?  I think it is, I think it is!  ::snickers::  Anyways, this part will only have a mention of DilandauxVan.  Sorry about that, it just turned out that way..  but, look on the bright side, more FolkenxDilandau fluffy-goodness!  ::audience cheers::  Remember, I've only seen a little of this series, and remember even less than that.  If there are any mistakes, pretend it's AU, okay?  ^^;;

**Something new! : **Do you not like this fic solely because it has yaoi /shounen-ai in it?  Well, instead of sending me a simple flame review, why not send me a whole-blasted form?  Go to http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=499124 and fill it out!  ^_^

**/ / = thoughts     [ ] = dreams     ( ) = flashbacks**

::*~~*::

            After Dilandau's second encounter with Folken he began to back off a bit.  It had already been proven that the Strategos had to be the one to make the first move, not he.  So he just laid back a little, but did still flirt over now and again.  What surprised him, though, was on the few days when Folken would actually flirt _back_.  His sweet words were rewarded with gentle touches and, once-in-awhile, a kiss on his forehead, ear, nose, once even the lips.

            Did that mean that Folken was finally starting to cave in?  He hoped so.  He didn't know how much longer he could wait.  Recently, he had been putting more force on the commander, but it proved a bad tactic in the end.  Once he became more forceful, Folken once more was distant from him.  

            Knowing from experience that the Strategos did not like out-right flirting, he began to back off again.  Unfortunately, the tactic didn't work.  Folken remained distant, almost contemplating his next move.  It bothered Dilandau.  It had been almost three weeks since he took on that stoic façade again.  Dilandau was getting frustrated.

            Most of this infatuation(or all of it, as he so liked to blame but knew otherwise in his own mind) came from physical want.  He was, after all, I teenager.  His hormones were raging and trying to take a hold of him.  He found himself having nightly wet dreams about the commander, but he couldn't do anything about it.  Even if he did crawl into Folken's bed again, he would most likely be kicked out once more.

            Dilandau began to question himself.  Why was he waiting for Folken?  He saw the way the other Dragonslayers looked at him.  He could have any of them, at any time, but he chose not to.  Why?  If Folken wasn't willing to give consent, then why _not_ move on to the next eligible person?

            And the feeling in the pit of his stomach whenever he thought of Folken, what was he supposed to think about that?  This was all too confusing for him...

            It was Van Fanel who gave him a way out of his dilemma, as he thought at the time.  He had heard Folken talk of a brother once the Dragon was brought upon the _Vione_, and began to plot.

            Dilandau had told Folken not to take long with his decision.  He had warned him that he might lose his chance.  To this, Folken had only replied, _'I hope I don't_'.  This gave him reason to believe that if Folken thought he was going to lose his chance, that he would choose faster.  Ah, jealousy, why wouldn't it work?

            So the Dragonslayer let the Strategos go and talk to his little brother.  It was after he had come back up and passed by him that he left the hanger holding the antique Escaflowne and started to make his way down the halls towards the 'guest' room.  The room where the Dragon was being held.  Where his plan would begin.

::*~~*::

            Van awoke with a start when he heard footsteps right outside his door, that of metal boots.  He shook his head, gathering his thoughts.  He peered around the room, seeing where he was, as everything came back to him through a cloud and a headache.  The room he was in was in the floating fortress, yes.  He was being held prisoner, yes.

            Folken was his older brother, the one he had thought was dead for the last ten years.  The one who was now asking him to join them.  He shook his head again.  / Brother... /

            He heard a tap on his door.  He slid off the bed and crossed the room, his headache still bothering him a little.  When he got to the door he realized that there was no doorknob on it.  Why was someone tapping at the door then?  Why not just come in...?

            "What are you doing down here, Dilandau?" a calm, low voice came from outside the door.  / Folken? /

            "Ah, Folken," the Dragonslayer outside his door purred, "might I ask you the same thing?"

            Van leaned against the door, pressing his right ear to the cool metal, wanting to hear this.

            "Dilandau," Folken replied in a warning voice, "unless you have business down here, I suggest you go back up."

            Dilandau laughed.  "Business?  No, I was looking for a little bit of distraction, actually..."  Van could almost _hear_ the teen's grin just from his words.  / Distraction?  What is he talking about? /

            "...why?"  Something in Folken's voice seemed to... drop.  Van was unsure what it was, but that was what it seemed like.

            "Folken, you love to play dumb, don't you?"  The teen chuckled.  "You can't be that naïve."

            There was a pause before anything else was said.  The silence was somewhat deafening, even in its briefness.

            "Dilandau," Folken spoken almost too softly for someone with his stature.

            "Don't even say a thing," Dilandau said defensively.  "There's nothing you can say or do to persau—"

            There was a loud thud as something was slammed against the door.   Van stumbled away from it, landing on his ass.  He stared blankly at the closed off threshold, wondering what was happening on the other side.  

            Was Folken harming Dilandau for some unknown offense?  It would serve him right, but Van couldn't help feel a little pained at the thought.  He wished he could open the door, to see what was going on out there...

            Folken was, needless to say, frustrated when Dilandau came down here.  Especially for the reason he was down here.

            / But it's my own fault, really, / he thought sadly.  / How long did I honestly think someone as impatient as he would wait? /  Folken couldn't stand it.  He knew he wanted the boy, but there were... issues he was still confused about.  That he really didn't want to deal with yet.

            "Dilandau," he began, still looking for the words to dissuade him from going after his brother.

            "Don't even say a thing," Dilandau retorted.  "There's nothing you can say or do to persau—"

            Something inside Folken snapped.  His movements were made before any thoughts.  He slammed Dilandau against the door, his lips crushing against the boy's.  He instantly opened his mouth and let his tongue find it's way into Dilandau's more-than-willing mouth.  He had only kissed in such a way once before, but it was not this passionate, this needy.

            When Dilandau started to slip down the door, Folken wrapped his flesh arm around the boy's waist and pulled him even closer.  The Dragonslayer wrapped his arms around Folken's neck and pulled into the embrace, relaxing against the commander's lips.  As their tongues sparred with one another, Folken gently stroked the child's cheek with his metal arm, similar to the way he had almost a month again at their last 'encounter'.  

            They both came up for air, each panting softly.  Dilandau had his sanguine eyes shut, a smile playing on the corner of his lips.

            "Does this dissuade you, Dilandau?" Folken whispered.

            Dilandau grinned, not opening his eyes.  "A little."

            "Good."  Folken removed himself from the boy, who had been putting all his weight on him, so when Folken left he fell to his knees.  

            Dilandau looked up at Folken in anger and confusion.  "Hate you.  I hate you so much, Strategos."

            Folken had a pained expression on his face, a little upset with himself that he had to end this so soon yet again.  "I know."  He took on his normal stoic façade as he held out his hand for the boy to take.  "Come on.  Let's go."

            Dilandau looked down in shame briefly before looking up at his commander again, the hatred still present in his eyes.  "Hate you.  Why do you do this?"  He slapped the man' hand away, standing up on his own.  "I want to kill you for things like this, Folken."

            Folken felt a stab in his chest from Dilandau's words, but outwardly ignored them.  His expression remained neutral as he stood before Dilandau, staring into the child's eyes.  Oh, how he could get lost in those eyes...

            "Fine, whatever, let's leave," Dilandau said in a huff, passing by the man, his shoulder bumping the other's.

            Folken sighed as he turned around and followed Dilandau to the upper decks.  This was getting harder each time he had one of these encounter with the child.  What was the Strategos to do?

::*~~*::

            Dilandau sat in a chair in his room, staring at nothing, head on his right palm.  His index finger was scratching the hour-old scar, that should've stopped bleeding by now, but he kept scratching it.

            Damn that Van.  Cutting his beautiful face like that...  The defiance of the boy...  And he was going to... to...

            The thought somewhat sickened Dilandau.  Did he really want to fuck Van just to make Folken jealous?  The plan would undoubtedly work, but couldn't he get the Strategos some other way?  It was more than obvious Folken wanted him, too.  Hell, that kiss alone told him that.

            In the back of his mind, he also felt like he was... betraying Folken.  But it was Folken who betrayed him; always leading him on, Dilandau would give him his trust to do whatever he wanted to him, and he would throw it back in his face.  

            / It's your fault if you lose me, Folken, yours alone...  I've given you more than enough chances to have me... /

            A gentle knock on the door grabbed Dilandau's attention.  He turned towards the closed off threshold and asked, "What is it?"

            The knob turned and the door slowly opened.  The Strategos that was just plaguing the youth's mind walked in softly, closing the door behind him.  He came near where Dilandau sat, pieces of cloth held in his metal hand.

            "What do you want?" Dilandau said bitterly.

            Folken's face showed his trademark stoicness, not answering the boy's question right away.  He reached down and put his finger under Dilandau's chin, tilting his head so the child's right side of his face was displayed to him.  "I thought you hadn't taken care of this," Folken stated in a matter-of-fact face.

            Dilandau pushed Folken away.  "So what if I haven't?"  He turned away from his commander, a little bit of hurt in his eyes that he was trying to shove away.

            Folken pulled a chair up to his right side.  He ran his finger along the cut, sending a chill through Dilandau.  "What are you doing?"

            "Taking care of this," Folken said simply, "because I know you won't."  He took the cloth in his hand, which was dampened, and ran it down the cut, washing it out.  Dilandau tried to sit still, but the coolness was unnerving.  Once he had washed out the cut thoroughly, he placed a bandage that had also been in his hand over it.  To top it off he gently kissed the now-bandaged wound.

            Dilandau stared at the floor, unsure of himself.  Why was Folken so fickle?  "Why do you do this to me, Folken?"

            "You are as much to plan as I, Dilandau," Folken spoke gently, standing.  "You were right before, to say I want this as much as you."  He sighed, facing the door.  "But...  there's a different reason for me.  You don't understand."

            Dilandau placed his hand over Folken's flesh hand.  "Why wouldn't I understand?  You're horrible at explaining things, Folken."

            "I don't want to explain this, either."  Folken bent down and gave Dilandau a soft kiss on his lips.  He straightened himself out, looking somewhat distraught.  "Maybe later.  Goodnight."  He turned towards the door again and left, a large frown on his face the entire way.

            Dilandau sighed heavily at the silence that followed once the door was closed again.  Reason...?  What was he talking about?  Why couldn't he just give him a straight answer!?

            Dilandau gripped his hair in frustration.  "Damn you, Folken, what will it take to have you?"  He hissed as he pulled out some of the silvery-strands violently.  He sat still for a moment, thinking.  Then he smirked.  

            "Guess...  I'll just have to keep up with my plan, ne?"

Er, yeah...  Anyways, that's the second part.  Yaya, I'm actually working on a fic!  You should all be happy.  

This part didn't turn out _exactly_ how I wanted, and was kind of weird.  Everything will be explained soon, don't worry.  Sorry for there not being more DilandauxVan in this one.  I'll get to it next time or thereafter, okay?  ^^;

Oh, something I'm going to start doing in all my fics: shout out to the reviewers!  Bwhaha!  :

To Sweet-Michi – the reason I wrote the second part so quickly was really cause of this.  Thanks. ;)

To Jaed Moon – Hye, don't worry about being a hypocrite.  I should be working on Flawless Warrior, not this.  I'll get back to it.  After I get this one done for you guys, though, of course.  ^_~

To Mara – I like this couple, too.  There really should be more fics with this two, don't you think?  I got my lazy up and working just for you!  Doesn't that make you feel all special?

To Kojiro Yomoda -- **submits to the cute pouts**  All right, all right, I'll do the third part in your honour,  okay?  ^_~

Keep those reviews coming!  ^__^


	5. ThreeI Regret the Firelight

**Title : **Three Sides to the Coin

**Part :  **three **/**

**Part Title : **I Regret the Firelight

**Authour : **~sushisama~ (sbolce@esper.com)

**Warnings : **Citrus between Dilandau and Van.  A little bit of Van and Hitomi, and FolkenxDilandau at the end.  Wa.

**Disclaimer : **Check the first part.

**Notes : **Finally with the third part... plugh...  This part has more DilandauxVan in it, so be happy.  A little bit of Van+Hitomi, and, of course, FolkenxDilandau.  Fluffy, a bit, at the end.  But I love fluff, so~...  Teehee.  Read and review!  *gives all the readers cookies* ^-^

**/ / = thoughts     [ ] = dreams     ( ) = flashbacks**

::*~~*::

            Van walked through the forest casually.  He needed the fresh air, not to mention the time alone to himself.  Between cat-girls, Seers, princes, pyromaniacs, and a long-lost brother, he could easily say he needed a break.  Though this midnight stroll was far from a good break, at least it was something.  

            Folken had asked him again to join them.  As much as he wanted to be with his brother again, he did not want to be on the other side.  No, he'd fight them forever, even if Folken was on their side.  Maybe he could convert the Strategos?  It was worth a shot.

            He remembered the scene that had happened on the _Vione_, the one between Dilandau and Folken.  What had happened there?  Was it Dilandau that had been thrown against the door with such force?  Van sighed.  

            / That pyro...  what does he want from my brother? /  The question weighed heavily on him and he felt much curiosity over it all.

            A twig snapped somewhere.  Van turned around in the direction of it, suddenly becoming aware that he didn't have his sword on him.  Fool!  He went into the woods without a weapon!?  Taking a break must have meant a _lot_ to him then.

            He stared in the direction of the noise, waiting for whatever or whoever it was come out and try to get him.  He could find a way to get them.  He always came out of these things mostly unscathed, right?

            Silence.  Nothing was happening any longer.  Maybe he just imagined it?

            "Funny to see you here, isn't it, Dragon?" a voice purred behind him.  Van whipped around to see the Dragonslayer Dilandau.  His eyes went wide with shock.

            "Wh-what are you doing here!?" he yelled.

            Dilandau only grinned to the boy's unnerved behaviour.  "Thought I'd take a walk.  Too stuffy in the ship, you know?"  His grin grew.  Of course he hadn't just come down here for a walk.  He was actually going to seek out Van, but this only made it easier.

            Van growled at the arrogant teen.  "You've had your walk, now go back to your ship!"

            Dilandau took on a defensive look.  "Hey now, I have a freedom to walk, just as much as you do.  And besides –" he held out his hands in a gesture of peace, "—I have no weapons.  I didn't come here to fight.  But, finding you here is rather convenient..."

            "Convenient?  Why?  What do  you want?"

            His grin grew to a face-splitting length.  "I was looking for you, honestly.  Folken stopped me from seeing you before."

            / Is he talking about what happened on the ship? /  "What do you want?"

            The Dragonslayer moved in closer to Van, to which the he backed up instinctively, and reached out a hand to touch the king's face.  "I'll give you three guesses..."

            "To kill me?"  Van felt his back being pushed up to a tree.  The bark was itchy through his cotton shirt.

            "No..."  Dilandau moved closer to him, trapping him against the tree.  He stared into the teen's eyes, as if to dominate him.

            "To torture me?"  Van gulped.  This was becoming very awkward.  

            Dilandau seemed to take a moment to think.  He shook his head, then, running his fingers along the other's jaw line.  "Close, but no cigar..."

            Van shuddered when the light-haired boy moved a cold hand beneath his shirt.  / Oh, god, he's not going to...  to... /  "You...  you want..."

            "I think you got it," Dilandau purred into his ear before gently biting down on it, making Van gasp in surprise.

            Van put his hands on his shoulders and tried to shove him away.  To this Dilandau only put more force into it, pushing him against the tree with almost crushing force.  "Come on, now, Van, there's nothing wrong with it.  Soldiers do it during war all the time.  Takes the stress off, you know?"  He kissed the king's Adam's apple, a feral grin on his face.  "God only knows how much stress we've been in lately..."

            "Normally, it's done with someone on your own _side_," Van hissed, trying to push him away again.

            "That's true," Dilandau agree.  He grabbed Van's chin and tilted his head, crushing his lips against his with bruising force.  His mouth opened and he let his tongue into the other's mouth, only to be greeted with teeth.  He smiled as he pulled away.  "But there's no one there I would want to be with," he lied.  "What about you?  You want that Blue Moon-girl or something?"

            Van frowned.  A part of him, yes, did want Hitomi.  "If I wanted her I could have her," he retorted bitterly.

            Dilandau let out a hardy laugh. "Oh, _God_, you're exactly like your brother."  

            Van gave him a look of confusion.  "What do you mean by that?"

            The Dragonslayer went back to kissing his neck.  "Don't worry about it, Dragon."  He moved his hand over Van's pebble-like nipple, the teen shivering in reaction.  "Let's just concentrate on the moment, hmm?"

            Van, again, tried to push him away.  "We won't concentrate on any moment because there shouldn't be one!"

            Dilandau became enraged suddenly and grabbed Van's wrists, slamming them against the side of the tree.  The teen yelped in a mixture of surprise and pain.  "You two act far too much alike.  I despise it."  He again kissed the king, this time biting down on his lip hard enough to make it bleed.  "Things wouldn't be so hard if you would just let yourself go, even for _one fucking time_."  His voice had a bitter edge to it.

            Van stared wide-eyed at his captor, unsure of what move to make now, what thing he might need to say.  An eerie silence fell as Dilandau, briefly, did nothing further to him.  

            After a moment, Dilandau licked the blood flowing from the puncture in the Dragon's lip, enjoying the coppery taste as much as he did when he bit Folken all those many weeks ago.  To Van, the gesture seemed almost... affectionate.  That fact startled him.

            "There's a lot of stress that I have right now, I won't deny it..." Van spoke softly, forcing Dilandau to look up at him.  "Maybe...  maybe I do need a good distraction."

            "Oh, really?"  Dilandau grinned.  He was submitting finally.  This was wonderful...

            Van nodded.  "I mean, it's just to relieve stress, right?  No harm there..."  He tentatively pushed he head forward, his lips grazing Dilandau's. 

            "Of course there's nothing wrong with it," the Dragonslayer purred.  "In times of war, one must do what one needs to do to get rid of the stress; to find a distraction."  The word 'distraction' was quickly becoming Dilandau's favourite word to use instead of 'sex'.

            "Then I..."  Van gulped.  "I want to be distracted."

            Dilandau smiled and nodded.  "I can do that..."  He kissed the king once more, this time the black-haired teen responding and both their tongues meeting in a sparring match.  Dilandau's hands let loose the king's wrists as he began to work on getting any and all clothes separated from between them.

            In the back of his mind, he felt like he was betraying Folken.  He shouldn't be doing this with Van, this was something he needed to be doing with the Strategos...  But he had the lust in him that he need to get rid of, and if Folken wouldn't do it, then who else was left?  He forced any and all thoughts of the commander from his mind and turned his concentration on Van. 

::*~~*::

            Van was feeling disgusted with himself.  Did he just...?  No.  He was not just with Dilandau Albatou.  No fucking way in hell would he _ever_... ever...

            He shuddered violently at the memory as he walked into the castle, making his way back to his room.  He needed that distraction.  It was nice, though made him a little sore.  But...  but...  with that pyromaniac?  What possessed him to do such a thing!?

            He sighed, wanting to vomit suddenly.  The whole situation wasn't sitting too well with him.  Not only did he fuck with Dilandau but he also _enjoyed_ it.  

            / I wouldn't mind doing it again, even... / he admitted to himself before violently shaking his head.  / No!  NO!  I won't _ever_ do that again.  That was wrong, perverted, it shouldn't have happened.  We're enemies.  Enemies don't screw each other, even if it does feel nice.  Even I did need the distraction... / 

            "Damn it, why does this always happen to me?" he spat out harshly, smashing his fist into the wall of the staircase, his flesh connecting with stone.

            "Van, is that you?" a timid voice called him.  Hitomi came into view wearing a nightgown.  "Is something wrong?"

            Van stared blankly at her.  His earlier words flittered through his head; '_If I wanted her I could have her_.'  / Yes, if I want her...  which I do.  I do want her, not Dilandau.  Right... / He nodded to himself.

            "Van?  What are you staring at?"  Her concern was leaking into her voice.

            Van came out of his reverie.  "Hitomi, I..." 

            She smiled a little.  "Yes?"

            He grabbed her shoulders and roughly pulled her close, his lips locking against hers in a bruising kiss.  He opened his mouth and instantly trusted his tongue into her gasping wet chamber.

            Hitomi was at first surprised by the action, but sank into it.  This made it easier for Van and he knew he could take her easily enough...  

            Van suddenly felt sick with himself again.  He shoved Hitomi away and stared at her in shock, his eyes wide and his mouth hanging open some.

            Hitomi looked surprised as well.  "Van...?  What's wrong?  I don't mind, I really don't..."

            "Why doesn't this feel right...?  I don't understand..."  He started to run up the stairs again, making his way to his room in a mad dash, leaving Hitomi behind, her expression confused.

            As he ran up the stairs he thought of why he couldn't kiss Hitomi.  It didn't feel.. right.  It was too easy.  Too easy to have her.  No thrill in it.  Dilandau, though... there was a lot of danger in that.  The teen was a mystery to him, an adventure to have him again.  He hated that pyro so much.  Just like he hated wanting him.

            But if he couldn't be with Hitomi... then who?  Marlene?  No.  That would probably lead to the same problem.  No...  

            He would be with Dilandau again.  At least once more.  He had to.  There was a hunger that was developing, solely for the dangerous.

            Solely for Dilandau.

::*~~*::

            Dilandau had gone through the next day relatively content.  The night before had worked out the way he had wanted with Van submitting to him.  He was sated, finally, after dealing with his hormones by himself for so long.  At least, sated for now.  

            It made him feel a little sick thinking about it, though.  Not because he did it with Van.  No, the Dragon was attractive enough to him, and wasn't that bad of a fuck.  But because..  he betrayed Folken somehow.  He wasn't even really with Folken yet, but he betrayed him somehow.  

            Dilandau was in his room late the next night, in front of the fire in the fireplace, a pencil in his hand and paper in front of him.  He had been inspired to write for some reason and had already produced five pages of poetry.

            After re-reading it, though, he laughed bitterly.  "What's wrong with me? How _sappy_ can I get?"  He threw the first page into the flames.  

            He had been writing poetry on Folken.  What was wrong with him these days?  He shouldn't be writing this.  He shouldn't be upset at sleeping with Van instead of Folken.  This pang in his stomach shouldn't be there.  There should be no fear of being rejected.

            But there it was, digging away at him.  Why?  

            Dilandau felt a presence beside him suddenly, but he didn't look up.  He knew who it was.  He just threw two more pages into the flame.

            "What are you burning?" Folken inquired, though it sounded like he didn't really care.  Just a conversation starter.

            "Poetry," Dilandau replied quietly, throwing the last few pages in.

            "I didn't know you wrote," Folken said, sitting down on the boy's right side.

            "Nor did I," he admitted.

            There was a pause.  "I was looking for you last night," Folken finally said.

            "Were you now?"  Dilandau smirked.  "Why were you doing that?"

            Folken was silent again.  "I guess I... was a little lonely."

            / Lonely? / Dilandau thought, pulling his knees up to his chest and hugging them.  / So, if I had stayed here, I could've possibly had him finally!? /  The irony pulled at his heart.

            "Finally coming around, Folken?" the Dragonslayer said in a bittersweet voice.

            "There's still a few things I haven't sorted out," he answered.  "But, that doesn't mean I want to be lonely."

            "That's not really what I wanted to hear," Dilandau snorted.

            The teen jumped a little when he felt Folken's flesh arm wrap around his waist and pull him to the man's side.  His surprise wore off soon enough though, as he relaxed against the man's shoulder.  He smiled, snuggling into the man's neck.

            Folken let out a contented sigh.  "Where were you last night, Dilandau?"

            Dilandau suddenly frowned.  This moment was wonderful.  It didn't match all the times he wanted to screw him, but it was amazing in its own aspect.  And it would be ruined if he told Folken about what happened with his brother last night.

            Folken's arm tightened around him in a defensive squeeze.  "Let me guess, I don't want to know?"

            "It's your own fault, Folken," Dilandau whispered, wanting to redeem himself somehow.  "You shouldn't have waited so long."

            "You're right, I guess," Folken replied in a defeated manner.  "I'm not even going ask who it is, then."

            / You probably would hate me if you knew.... / Dilandau thought miserably.  Something in the back of his mind told him that the commander probably already knew, anyways.

            "I like this, though," Folken said, grabbing Dilandau back from his bout of self-pity.  

            "What?"

            "This."  He looked straight into the fire, a crooked smile on his lips.  "Being in front of the fire, holding you.  I like this much better than all those other times..."

            / Yes, all those times where nothing got accomplished once it started. /  "Why, Folken, are you some sort of hopeless romantic?"  The way he said the last word was in an almost mocking tone.

            Folken looked down at him, still smiling.  The Strategos leaned down a bit to meet with Dilandau's lips in a loving kiss.  It wasn't soft like most of the ones he gave the boy, and wasn't rough like the one he had given him back when the Dragon was on board.  No, it was just caring, soft, and filling.

            Folken pulled away eventually and removed the child from his side, standing up.  "Maybe you should try finding out."  He grinned and left the room just as silently as he had entered.

            Again, Dilandau was left by himself to find out what all Folken meant with his words.  He was so fickle..  But the Dragonslayer couldn't help but feel that more had been accomplished tonight than any of their other encounters. 

            And a part of him enjoyed the moment as much as Folken.

            Dilandau flopped down onto his back, starring up to the ceiling.  "Folken...  You're changing me somehow, aren't you?  I don't know if I mind or not..."  He sighed heavily.  "I almost wish I hadn't betrayed you..."

Ohh, we getting to some angst now, ne?  Love triangle coming up, folks.  Yaya!  ^_~

Sorry it took so long for this part.  I've gone on this Lent-like thing, where I can't read or write yaoi/ slash except on Sundays.  I really have to push writing, trying to get it done before midnight each time...  I'll try to do part five next week, mmteh?

Now it's time for shout-outs!  I've gotten a lot since I last posted...

To silver-flame666 -  I'm k00l?  Aww, no I'm not..  *blush*  No offense, though, but what's with the 'love you lots' comment?  That kind of scares me.  Don't ask why...  ^^;

To Dilandau's Girl - I'm glad you like it though you're not fond of yaoi.  Makes me feel like I'm an actually half-way decent writer.  ^_^

To Kamikaze -  *serves you a plate of delicious story*  Here you are, my friend.  ^__^

To Ryoki - Thank you.  The more publicity, the better.  ^_~

To Neko4 - I knew you'd bug me, Duochan.  I just somehow knew it...  ;P

To frequently-fades-away-is- -  I like your name.  Just thought I'd say that.  Oh!  And thanks for the compliment.

To Kathryn - *blinks in surprise*  Er, worship me?  Sure.  Why the hell night?  *sweatdrop*

To c-vampire - I'm glad you enjoy your first Escaflowne fic, as well as it being my fic.  Tis my first as well.  ^^;

To Mikara - Yes, we all do love yaoi.  Teehee.  This probably just one of the newer ones, though.  There are some good ones between them later on in the section.  Like 'Once Upon a Wine Glass'.  That's probably my favourite FolkenxDilandau fic...

To Mai Lynn - I'm not fond of Allen myself, honestly.  *glomped* Oh dear god, you're like my friends..  Cree~py.  ^^;  I get an award for this fic?  Wa-hoo!

Keep those reviews coming in!  They make _sure_ I will write next week.  ^_^ 


	6. FourDon't Kill the Moment

**Title : **Three Sides to the Coin

**Part :  **four **/**

**Part Title : **Don't Kill the Moment (There's One in Every Fic)

**Authour : **~sushisama~ (sbolce@esper.com)

**Warnings : **Can I stop putting this up here yet?  *whine*

**Disclaimer : ***points upward*

**Notes : **I shall go ahead and tell you all this – I am not fond of this chapter _at all_.  However, I am currently clueless as to where I want to go with this story, so I decided to take some time off and write a POV fic.  As much as I despise writing first person fics, this is the only time during the week I get to write, so I'll just give the people what they want...  Listen, friends, you are allowed to add your comments on what I should do next.  In fact, it would be greatly appreciated.  Any ideas and suggestions will be considered.  I need all the help I can get.

**/ / = thoughts     [ ] = dreams     ( ) = flashbacks**

::*~~*::

            I shift around uncomfortably in my bed, finding it near impossible to go to sleep.  I can't seem to stop thinking about him.  Why?  Ever since I was with him two nights ago, I can't get him out of my head.  I'm going through my days in a daze, everything a done out of routine.  Being around all this familiar people suddenly seems so foreign to me..  
            It wasn't supposed to mean anything.  It was to relieve stress, that was it.  And that's what it did.  But...  something else was hit.  I want more of him, need more of him.  
            Hitomi keeps asking me if I'm okay.  I want to apologize to her, for leading her on...  But I couldn't, for some reason.  I really do want her...  or, at least, did want her.  I don't regret kissing her, I've been wanting to do it for a while.  But now that I have, there's nothing thrilling about it.    
            I wasn't thinking of fucking her after kissing her, no.  That isn't me – I wouldn't fuck someone just because of one kiss.  I think of myself as more of a romantic than that.  I did want it to eventually get there, though.  I don't think of her as a piece of meat you have to romance or anything, it's just...  I don't know.  Would blaming it on hormones make a good enough excuse?  
            Dilandau, though...  something was horribly right about fucking him, in that wrong sort of sense.  Does that make any sense?  It was wrong because we were enemies.  But, if it weren't for this war, battling for our lives all the time, it wouldn't be wrong then, right?  There wouldn't be any fun in it, though.  There's no fun without the idea of getting caught.  
            Getting caught... is that what I want?  For someone to find this out?  As odd as it may sound, I think the danger in the entire situation is what thrills me the most about it.  I find myself aroused just at the thought of doing it again...  
            I can't take this anymore.  I just want to be with him again.  I'm going to burn in Hell for this, but it can't be helped.  I get up out of bed and find my shirt and slide it on.  It's the dead of night, I'm reassuring myself, no one will notice I've left.   
            I take my sword that rests next to the door of my room.  In case someone sneaks up on me, I give the excuse to my mind.  I really just don't want the humiliation of being caught off guard again.    
            I leave my room quietly, making my way down the long winding stairs, to the outside.  I don't know if I'll be lucky enough to run into him again, but my hopes are high...  
  


::*~~*::

            The days have gone by, boring as ever.  I can't help but feel a little better with myself, though...  Not only have I been sated (for the time being, at least), but I also feel that things have taken a step in the right direction with Folken.  I would have never guessed the Strategos was such a hopeless romantic (a/n, yes, I _do_ love this term for him^_^), but it's something I can play on.  
            Though I enjoyed the rump with the Dragon, I still can't help but feel a little bad about it.    
            / But, / I began to myself, repeating the same excuse I've used for days now, / it's _his_ fault for waiting so long.  I told him I wouldn't wait forever.  He knows how impatient I can get... /  
            I bite down on my pinky nervously, staring into the wall across from the chair I sit in blankly.  I was impatient, yes...  But what was I being impatient for?  To have sex?  Or to have sex with _Folken_?  The situation confused me...  I know I want to get laid, but by a specific person?  
            I sigh heavily.  "Why can't things ever be easy?" I ask to no one.  
            I want to know why he's so fickle.  Why one moment he'll be kissing, about to take the next step, only to push me away with his lame excuses the next.  I'm starting to wonder if I'm even getting closer to him at all.    
            There's a way to find that out...  
            I stand from my chair and just be still for a moment.  I think of what I'm going to do and say, nodding to myself when I feel I've got it in order in my mind.  I exit my room quietly and head towards Folken's, a sly smile on my face.  
            When I got to his door I stood still once more, again composing myself.  When I felt confident enough, I placed my hand on the knob and turned it, poking my head into the room.  I looked at the sleeping form in the bed, smiling to myself.  I slipped quietly into the room, closing the door gently behind me.  
            Nothing like the first time.  I'm not going to stand at the side of his bed, waiting for him to wake up.  I'm not going to let it escalate to the point it did then.  No, no...  if he wants something sweeter, then I'll give him something sweeter.    
            When I get to the edge of the bed, I do pause for a moment, just to admire him.  He is beautiful...  I shake my head as the sappy thoughts run into me.  / No, I will _not_ turn into a piece of fluff like he has.  The only reason I'm doing this is to have him.  The only reason I'll ever do something like this... /  
            I shove the little part of my mind that told me I was lying to myself out of the way, feeling it a distraction.  No, not a distraction, I didn't want to disgrace the word that I had come to recently love.  It was just bothersome.

            Before I could let my mind have any further discussion on my recent thoughts and feelings, I lifted up the covers and slid in next to the sleeping commander.  He's on his back, so it's more than easy for me to curl into his side, laying my head the junction of his shoulder and collar.  I snuggle into him, glad that I'm not on his right side (or his prosthetic arm, for that matter), a content smile playing on my lips.  
            I feel like I did a few nights ago, comfortable to be so close to him.  He was right – it was better to just be held than to do anything sexual.  I hate to admit that, though...  As good as this feels, I still want to fuck him.  For me, this whole thing is about sex.  
            At least, that's what I keep telling myself.  
            He's so warm...  I've noticed it before, but it didn't seem as important then.  Maybe because I wasn't trying to stay still, I was too busy wanting to rip off his clothes...  He's comfortable, too.  I noticed that last time, but, as I said, it didn't seem as important as it does now.  
            Again, I shove out any thoughts of there being another meaning to all this away.  I'll just live in this moment, being here, so close to his warmth and comfortable against his side.  The consequences of what this might mean can come later.  _Much_ later.  
            I hear him grumble a bit in his sleep and his hand comes up, as if in reflex, to touch his face.  There's a little problem with that, though – where I am prevents him from much movement with his left arm.  He lazily opens his eyes and looks down at me, sleep clinging to him still, from the dazed look on his face.  
            "Dilandau...?" he whispers, his voice rugged from sleep.  
            I smile to him, whispering back, "Yeah, Folken?"  I get a little closer to him, as though I belong here, in his bed.  Hell, I _should_ belong here, after all...  
            "Why are you in my bed?" Folken says sleepily, though he makes no motion to remove me.  
            I snicker a bit.  "Do you mind that I'm in your bed, Strategos?" I taunt.  
            He's silent for a moment, which bothers me.  He has his stoic façade in place even, and I suddenly feel like he doesn't want me here at all.  I start to think I should just get up, and almost make the motion to do so, when his arm wrapped around my waist and he pulled me practically on top of him.  
            Well, I suppose he doesn't mind my being in his bed.  I grin happily, adjusting myself a little to make myself more comfortable and lay my cheek over his heart, placing one of my hands on his chest.  His skin's so smooth...  I curse myself for thinking sappy thoughts again.  
            "What possessed you to come here this time, Dilandau?" Folken whispers to me, his breath a gentle breeze to my ear.  I listen to his heart beat some before answering.  
            "I don't know, really..."  And I was being honest, it was a rather spontaneous thing.  "I just felt like seeing you.  Hope you don't mind..."    
            "I don't mind at all..."  His fingers start to play with my hair.  That feels nice...  "Sleep well, Dilandau."  He kisses the top of my head affectionately.  
            I smile and rub my cheek almost loving into his chest, like I'm trying to get comfortable.  "I will, Folken, I will..."  
  
            I don't think I've ever slept better in my entire life.  I was warm, comfortable, and there was something emotional about the whole thing that made it ten times better, though I wasn't _about_ to admit it to Folken.  He's changed me so much...    
            When I woke up, I didn't want to move.  I felt as though this was my place, I had a right to be here more than anyone else.  I wasn't about to get up.  
            "You know, Dilandau," Folken said softly (obviously he was awake now, too), "we _do_ have to get up sooner or later."  
            "Later sounds good to me," I said stubbornly, losing myself in his embrace.    
            "It sounds appealing to me as well, but..."  
            "Don't kill the moment, Folken," I whispered to him in a gentle voice.  It was a sappy thing to say, and especially sounded odd coming from me, but I felt like it had to be said.  
            Folken snickered at my comment, apparently thinking it was an unusual thing for me to say as well.  "A little longer, then..."  His hand rubbed my back in small circles, receiving a purr from me.  
            I lay there for long enough, my back being rubbed, stroking his chest with my fingers.  I think about how this is what I always imagined 'lovers' would be like.  Not people who just want a good rump, but actual lovers.  I'm thinking too much again...  As much as I hate to break the mood, I need to show him that I'm still in this not for the romance but for the physical reasons.  
            I prop myself up on my hands and throw my leg over his hips so I'm straddling him.  I look down into his eyes, a grin on my face, pushing aside the fact that he looks somewhat disappointed.  Does he think I'm going to demand anything from him?  I'll just have to show him that I'm not, then...  
            I crawl up the length of his body so our eyes are perfectly level with one another's.  I dip my head down and gently press my lips against his, in a gesture that's almost become familiar to me, though I think we've only actually kissed – I mean, _really_ kissed – four times since this all began.   
            He responds instantly, wrapping his arms around my back and pulling me closer to him, his mouth opening so our tongues can play with each other.  The metal of his right arm sends a chill down my spine that's almost thrilling.  I sink into his arms, losing myself in our kiss.  I'm trying to keep it gentle so he doesn't think I've any other intent, but I have to fight back the urge to be as rough kissing him as I was with his brother.  
            His brother...  Oh, Gods, the thought sickens me.  I pull back and stare into his eyes, hoping he doesn't notice my change in thoughts.  I have to put that away, I have to forget about what I did to Van, I have to concentrate on Folken...  
            Some things are easier said than done.  My mind keeps drifting back to that night in the woods, how I wish I had stayed behind, and I reprimand myself for having ever thought of the whole 'jealousy' thing to begin with.  
            "Dilandau?" Folken says in that low, smooth, wonderful voice of his, touching my cheek with his flesh hand.  His eyes look worried.  "What's wrong?"  
            "I..."  I don't know what to tell him.  'Hey, I'm sorry that I fucked your brother.  I hope that changes nothing between us.'  God, that sounds so awful, and would probably sound worse if I said it aloud.  So I just stay silent, still hovering above him and looking into his dark eyes.  
            Folken then kisses me again, an unusual smile on his face.  I wasn't exactly expecting him to, but I fade into the kiss just the same.  It's not as long as the last one, but I don't mind.  My mind's wondering again and it's starting to bug me...  
            When we part again, he looks like he has something serious to say.  Have I already done something wrong?  Maybe he just decided not to do anything after all...  Is he going to send me away like all those other times?  
            "Why?" he asks almost too quietly for my liking.    
            "Why what, Folken?" I ask sincerely.  His question was sort of random, after all, and I hadn't a clue what he was referring to.  
            He bit his lower lip, like he was reconsidering his question.  He then shook his head, his flesh hand playing with some of my hair.  "No, forget it..."  
            "No, Folken," I growl, grabbing his hand.  I lace my fingers with his and stare harshly down into his eyes.  "I'm tired of 'forgetting' it.  I'm sick of your not telling me anything!"  My grip tightens.  "Tell me what it is.  Stop leaving me in the dark all the time.  Say that I won't understand all you want, but that doesn't change the fact that I _want_ to understand."  
            The Strategos fell silent, staring up at me with hollow eyes.  How could his demeanor change so quickly?  Quit it, Folken, at least have sadness in your eyes..  I'd rather you be a hopeless romantic than you not having any emotion at all.  
            He nodded hesitantly then.  "You deserve to know," he confessed.  "As well as understand.  But..."  I gave him a dirty look, not wanting to be thrown off again.  He smirked then.  "Don't kill the moment, Dilandau.  Having me ask you questions would ruin this."  He untangles his fingers from mine and guides my palm to rest against his cheek.  His eyes show some hope, which I'm thankful for.    
            I sigh heavily, hating my questions not being answered, but he had a point – this moment was too perfect to ruin.  It wasn't going to end with one of us walking out on the other, Folken demanding I leave him alone, or on terms where tension could only raise.  No, if it was going to end – which I wish it didn't have to, but I knew better – it would end with a whispered 'goodbye' and a kiss as I went back to my room to get ready for the day.  
            No, I wasn't going to ruin this.  We only had one moment so far that was even close to perfect in front of the fire, and I'm not about to ruin this one.  
            That sounds so cheesy...  Stop changing me, Folken...  Especially when I like it...  
            I lower myself again to kiss his lips, only briefly, before laying back into his side, nuzzling his neck affectionately.  "All right, then...  I won't ruin this...  Tonight, though...  You have to promise me you'll ask me whatever you were going to ask me."  
            "I promise," he says in an odd voice.  Whatever he wants to say is weighing heavily on him, apparently.  He may lose his nerve by tonight, but I'll just beat it out of him, then (not literally).    
            We just lay there for a long time.  I cuddle into his side, feeling as content as ever, my fingers lazily stroking his chest as his fingers play in my hair.  It's an action I'm really starting to like...  Maybe I can deal with the image of being 'lovers', especially if it feels this nice...  
            Oh, did I mention how warm he is?

Er...  don't ask about the ending to this part.  I don't know.  ^_^()  Please, everyone, welcome me as your new Queen of Cheesiness!  *odd grin*  I'm still not fond of first person, though...  
Um, the reason I had the secondary title be 'There's One in Every Fic' is cause I don't like this part all that much.  I really had no direction with it...  It's that one chapter, you know, that's the worst written out of the entire fic.  Hopefully the next part will be better, though.  ;D  
Credit for this part goes to my Duochan, cause she helped me so much with the ideas for it  ^^;  And, as I said before, writing in your ideas and suggestions for the next part are _greatly_ appreciated...    
  


Anyway, shout-out time!  ;D  (and, apparently, I have loyal fans who keep reviewing...  I feel so loved!  ;D)

To Sweet-Michi - It gets better until you read this chapter, ne?  Ehehe.  ^^;  Want another cookie?  Here go!  *hands you another cookie*  ^_^  
To Aki-Chan04 - Ah, if you're looking for more of DilandauxVan, that should be in the next chapter or so..  I promise.  ^_^  
To Kamikaze - *lol* Would you like a cake for dessert, then?  ^_~  In character?  They are?  Ho-hai...  Well, then, I guess I should be proud of myself, ne?  ^_^  And I love that comment, too.  I think I'll worm it into every chapter from now on(like how I did two or three times into this one).  ;D  
To Neko4 - You know it, Duochan.  I can't let anything go without angst.  Mesa love angst!  ^-^  Nothing wrong with yaoi.  Save for when you can't read it during the weak...  *pitiful look*  Hye, don't give Van that look!  I have even _begun_ to be evil yet.  *grins*  
To Ryoki - Yes, scary indeed.  I never liked the pairing myself, but it fit into the story.  And I'll explain Folken's thoughts either at the tail end of the next chapter or the chapter after that.  Don't worry, I won't keep you all (nor Dilandau, for that matter) in the dark for much longer.  ^_^  Commit suicide?  Well, let's not go _too_ far here, but he could do something just as stupid.  (I don't know, fool around with Van, maybe...?  *grin*)  
To AidanCelticFlame (I like this name, btw) - Yes, the sole reason I'm writing this part is for the motor home!  ;D  What kind of car, ne?  Teehee.  You don't sound like a nutcase to me!  Seeing as I have thirteen voice in my head and all...  *smiles insanely*  
To YAH!!!!! (odd name there, friend ;P) - I'm hurrying, I'm hurrying...  ;)  Ah, it seems I've brought you to the dark side.  Wonderful.  ^__^  
To Alichini - *kind of backs away from the starry-eyed girl*  Just a _tad_ bit scary there, friend...  I'm glad for your love, though...  I guess...  Er...

Mmteh.  Keep the reviews coming in, and I'll make sure to write next weekend.  ^_^  If I'm inspired, that is...  Eeck...


	7. FiveI Won't Lie to You

**Title|**Three Sides to the Coin

**Part|**five **/**

**Part Title|**I Won't Lie to You...

**Authour|**~sushisama~ (sbolce@esper.com)

**Warnings|**FolkenxDilandau angst/fluff (when is it _not_ in this fic?) and DilandauxVan implied.

**Disclaimer|**Check first part, sillies.

**Notes|**Ho-_hai_, I'm actually writing!  I think I may finish this story within tow or three more chapters.  Which is kind of sad, cause I liked writing this...  ohwell, if you guys are nice enough, I'll write another big-project-fic-thingie, sooner or later.  Anyway, I finally said 'fuck it' to the lent-thing, so I'm free to write!  Yaya!  And I only had eleven more days to go, too...  Ohwell, I'm pathetic like that.  Just more writing for you all.  ^_^  Oh, btw, for those of you who are lemon fans – did you all notice all the different points in this fic where it could've more than _easily_ turned into a lemon?  I've decided to write a pwp about each chapter, at the point it could've gone lemon-ized, just for you all.  That, and I was wanting to write lemons from my lack of writing before.  Yaya, be happy.  The sushisama loves you all.  ^_^  Read and review!

**Extra Little Fun Note|**This takes place on the night that the first part that the last chapter describes(you know, the part where Van gets up and leaves?).

**/ / = thoughts     [ ] = dreams     ( ) = flashbacks**

::*~~*::

            "Where the _hell_ is he?" Dilandau asked himself for about the fifth time, pacing back in forth in his room.  It was getting late and the Strategos had yet to show up.  The Dragonslayer was starting to wonder if he _had_ chickened out, like he thought he would.  
            Their encounter that morning had not ended in the exact way he had hoped for, but it did not end badly, either.  There was a whispered 'goodbye' and a kiss, but also a demand that the Strategos would come to his room that night to discuss with him whatever he needed to.  
            And he was more than a little fed up with waiting.  
            The teen stopped in front of the lit fireplace, tapping his foot.  It only took him about ten taps before he turned around to the door, ready to fetch Folken himself.  However, he didn't have to go far – Folken stood in the doorway, wearing baggy sweat pants and a wife beater(a/n, I love those things...  *@.@*), his usual stoic façade in place.  
            "About damn time," Dilandau grunted, crossing his arms over his chest.  
            "Happy to see you, too," Folken said dryly, approaching the teen.  He stopped when he was only a few inches from him, then bent down some to give the Dragonslayer a soft kiss on the lips, before sitting down in front of the fire.  
            Dilandau gave him a suspicious look, wondering about the Strategos' actions.  He was acting like this was some usual routine or something – his coming in here, kissing him as if they were officially lovers, and then just making himself at home.  Then again, hadn't Dilandau done the same thing when he went into Folken's room last night?    
            Dilandau shrugged it off and sat down next to the commander, bring his knees to his chin and wrapping his arms around them.  He stared into the fire, waiting for Folken to speak, but was only received by silence.  He allowed it, for a little while – after all, the Strategos might have just been thinking about what he was going to say.  
            After awhile, though, it became just a little too annoying and silent for him.  "Whatever you were going to ask me this morning, Folken," Dilandau started, still staring at the flames, "go ahead and ask me.  I'm getting impatient."  
            Folken let out a sound that sounded oddly like a chuckle.  "You were never patient to begin with, Dilandau," he replied simply.  He extended his right hand and let the back of his metal knuckles across Dilandau's cheek in an affectionate gesture.  The teen shivered at his cold touch, but continued to stare forward.  
            "Just go ahead and ask me," Dilandau commanded softly, pushing the hand away from his face half-heartedly.  "No distractions until _after_ we're done talking."  
            Folken sighed and retracted his arm, sitting with his hands in his lap.  "Right, no distractions."  He snickered, coldly.  "There's something I never thought _you'd_ be the one to ask for."    
            Dilandau looked up at him with an eyebrow raised.  "What?"  
            "Nothing."  Folken looked into the fire again, once more falling silent.  Obviously, he was avoiding whatever subject he wanting to bring up that morning...  
            "Strategos," Dilandau called, "if you don't start talking, I'll just have to resort to other measures to keep myself entertained."  He grinned wickedly.  "This is one of the few times I'm actually _willing_ to discuss something."  
            Again, Folken sighed.  "Right."  He paused.  "What I was going to ask this morning was...  Dilandau, why are you doing all this?"  
            "I told you, Strategos," Dilandau retorted harshly, "I _want_ you.  What's so hard to understand about that?"  
            Folken shook his head, frowning.  "Not what I meant..."  Folken turned his gaze towards Dilandau.  "Why be so specific?  Anyone on this ship would more than gladly let you have them.  Why me?"  
            Dilandau fell silent, not knowing exactly how to answer the question.  He, himself, had asked it one too many times, ignoring it or giving himself a sorry excuse.  He didn't want to think about it – think about what it might mean.  What was Folken getting at?  What was he suggesting?  
            "There's nothing wrong with only wanting one person," Dilandau lamely defended himself.  "I just don't see anyone more appealing than you, is all.  Nothing else to it."  
            "I see," Folken said quietly, a bit of hurt in his voice.  "Is that all it is?  I don't know about you, but if I felt like only being with one person, I'd think there was something more than lust that was driving me."  He stood up slowly, looking solemn.  "And really, that's the only thing I would want driving me."  
            He crossed his arms, rubbing his shoulders as though he were cold.  He stood still for a moment before speaking up again.  "I really am a hopeless romantic," he said bitterly, chuckling to himself half-heartedly.  
            Dilandau watched him carefully, unsure how to reply.  / More than lust driving you...?  I won't let something like that get in my way.  No, Folken, don't you bring _that_ up... That isn't what it is.  Not at _all_. /  
            "What drives you, then, Folken?" Dilandau spoke gently, standing up.  "What are you leading to with all this...?"  He stepped behind the man, letting his arms slide underneath Folken's so he could trace light designs over his sculpted chest.  "Are you trying to tell me something?"  
            Folken took in a deep breath, shoving away the thoughts of how pleasant it was to have Dilandau this close.  He let the boy touch him, but he knew he should not lead him on.  He wasn't going to let anything happen.  He still had things to say...  
            "What do you think I'm going to say, Dilandau?" he whispered, leaning back just the slightest bit so he was even closer to the child.  
            Dilandau smirked, putting his cheek against the man's back.  It seemed as though the man was submitting.  He liked where this was going...  "What do I think?"  He chuckled.  "I think that you're going to mention something about 'love'."  He became a little firmer with his rubbing and went all around Folken's chest, coming to the edge of his pants and then going back up.  
            "But... that's not what I want to hear, no matter how much you think you need to say it."  He pulled his cheek away from the warmth that Folken radiated so much, and started to kiss the man's shoulder blades.  "You don't need 'love', Folken.  That's a misconception.  I think all you need is a good fuck, and you'll see things through my eyes..."  His hands found the rim of Folken's shirt and pulled it up so his bare skin could touch him.  
            Folken shuddered at the youth's touch; his skin was so cold compared to his.  It felt wonderful...  He could feel his barriers weakening with every touch Dilandau gave him.  "Dilandau..." Folken breathed, his eyes half-closed.  
            "Shh, Strategos," Dilandau whispered into his ear before biting down on it gently.  "Let me take care of you.  You need no emotions to sate yourself."  His hands ventured lower.  "None at all..."  
            Dilandau grinned wickedly, feeling the man he was caressing shake.  He would have him, finally.  He was so sure of it, that he didn't even realize his next words and actions until it was too late.  
            His hands had sunk to the junction between the man's thighs and hips, coming so close to the Strategos' groin, he could feel the heat.  "Just ask your brother; no emotions needed..."  
            Folken's eyes flew open.  He pushed the child away, making Dilandau hit the floor roughly.  He stared down at the child, an enraged look in his eyes.  
            Dilandau looked up at him, somewhat hurt, but his pain did not come even near that of which showed in Folken's eyes.  He looked so... defeated.  Like he had been ripped open.  
            / And it's my fault...  my fault he's in pain...  /  He flinched as Folken swept over him, leaning over the fallen youth.  "Don't be so offended," Dilandau said weakly, somewhat frightened of what Folken was going to do to him now.  "You knew, didn't you?  Why should it bother you now, if not before?"  When Folken didn't answer, he continued, "It's your own fault, you know.  You know I'm impatient.  You knew I wouldn't wait so long!  I even fucking told you!  You've no right to–"  
            Folken gripped the teenager's shoulders and pushed him back roughly, the back of Dilandau's head connecting with the floor almost painfully.  "No right?  I've no right to be upset?" he growled between clinched teeth.  "You sleep with my brother, and then try to sleep with me, and think I wouldn't be upset!?"    
            Folken was silent for a moment, a thoughtful look on his face, considering his next words.  Dilandau looked worried, somewhat terrified by the violent mood swing Folken was having.  He told Folken what he would do.  He mentioned that he wouldn't wait...  And the Strategos more than likely knew that he had been with his brother.  So why was he so angry...?  Dilandau didn't understand.  
            "What you said before..." Folken finally spoke up, his voice suddenly low.  "You were right; I was going to tell you that I..."  He stopped, a look of sadness taken place of his rage.  "I... care about you, Dilandau."  He winced, as though the information was painful to give.  "And I would only want you if you felt the same.  That is how I work, I guess."  
            "And it's not how I work," Dilandau said cautiously, staring into Folken's darkened eyes.  
            Folken sighed.  "I know."  His grip loosened a little.  "I know..."  He bent his head down some so that his lips just barely touched the boy's beneath him.  He pulled back, his eyes turning cold.  "So let's just forget about this.  All of this."  He got up off the child and straightened himself out.  He extended his hand to help Dilandau up.  
            Dilandau reluctantly took it and allowed the commander to pull him up.  They stood in front of each other for a moment, staring into each other's eyes.  It became silent except for the fire dying behind Folken.    
            "I don't want to forget this, Folken," Dilandau whispered, biting his lower lip.  "I still want you."  He stepped forward, wrapping his arms around the man's neck.  "Just you..."  
            Folken hesitantly put his arms around the youth, pulling him closer.  "It's not the same unless you can tell me you care, Dilandau.  And I don't think you're ready, or willing, to do that."  
            Dilandau nuzzled into his neck.  He was right... he wasn't ready for that.  Not yet.  It wasn't in him...  / What will make you stay, Folken...?  I don't want to lie to you... /  
            Folken gently released the boy, staring into those sanguine eyes he was starting to love so much.  What a distraction...  "Just forget it, Dilandau.  Everything...  I don't want you if I can't have you."  He sighed, a look of hopelessness consuming him.  "Find someone else.  I don't care.  Just don't bother me with this again."  His tone became harsh.  "_Never_ again, got it?"  He unlocked his eyes from the youth's and walked heavily towards the door.  
            "...and if I change my mind?" Dilandau said almost subconsciously.  
            Folken laughed bitterly.  "Would you?  Even for me?"  His smirking face turned to a deep scowl, and, before Dilandau could reply, he went out the room, closing the door lightly behind him.  
            Dilandau stared at the door, his mouth agape.  He had no clue how to respond to _any_ of this.  Folken had just _completely_ turned his back on him...  But why?  Because Dilandau couldn't say he cared about him?  Couldn't say he _loved_ him?  Was it that important to the Strategos?    
            Dilandau gripped his hair, practically ripping it out.  "Christ, I'm so fucking confused!" he yelled at no one.  "Why can't you make _sense_, Folken!?"  He winced as he pulled some of the silvery strands from his scalp.    
            He sat heavily onto his bed, still cradling his head in his hands.  Something trickled down his cheeks, warm and wet.  He wiped away at it, wondering if he pulled enough hair out to actually make himself _bleed_.  The liquid, however, was clear, and when he licked it off his fingers, it tasted salty.  Tears...?  
            "Why does it hurt so much?" he murmured.  "I don't care about you, I just want to fuck you..."  The last bit was said half-heartedly.  Dilandau knew he was lying to himself, but his pride got in the way of admitting it.    
            He stood up hastily.  "And I'll prove it.  I can be with someone else.  I don't _need_ you."  He made his way to his closet to fish out some clothes and get out of his nightwear.  
            "I can have anyone I want.  Don't need you at all..."  
  


::*~~*::

            It was just like the other night, peaceful and cool, as Van walked through the forest.  He had high hopes of seeing the Dragonslayer again, but had a dark feeling he wouldn't get his wish.  He stopped his wanderings and leaned against a tree, letting a deep sigh escape.  
            "Damn..."  He rested his head against the bark.  "What was I thinking?"  
            "We just keep running into each other, don't we, Dragon?" a playful voice spoke next to his ear, making Van jump.  
            The young king whirled around to face whoever it was, his eyes meeting with the smirking ones of just the boy he was looking for – Dilandau.  The Dragonslayer was grinning sadistically, but his eyes were somewhat... off, different than before.  Van couldn't put his finger on it, but didn't really care at the moment.    
            "We should do it more often," Van said smoothly, trying to sound seductive.  He stepped up to his enemy and forcefully kissed him.  
            "Yeah, we should," Dilandau said half-heartedly once they had broken from their kiss.  "We should..."

And I'll let you all guess what happens from there.  ^_~  Ohh, I love angst...  It makes me happy.  Yes.  *nodnod*  Sorry it took so long to get this part out.  Busy, busy.  Other fics, my band, school...  Eeck.  There's only about two or three parts left to this, which is kind of unfortunate.  I like writing it.  I may do another one soon enough...  or I could just be sated with doing the alternative lemon stuffs.  I like that idea.  ;D  
Shout-out time, my friends!:

Okay, I have four favourite fan-like people.  You guys are almost always the first to post when I make a new chapter, and you've already made four posts each.  I should do something for you guys.  But, what, I wonder...?  *thoughtful look*  Anyway, the four I'm talking about are Sweet-Michi, Neko4, Kamikaze, and Ryoki.  Thank you so much for your compliments.  I really appreciate them.  It's for fans like you that keep me writing, instead dropping it all together.  I think I may actually _finish_ this fic, much unlike my others.  

[To Sweet-Michi - Yeah, the artist is always tougher on him or herself than anyone else.  Looking back, that chapter wasn't all _that_ bad.  I just don't like writing in first person, is all.  Bruu.  And fluffiness is almighty.  I should start a ficlet thingie centered around it...  ohh!  *gets ideas*  Ye~s.  Past love?  Er, nah, too much to add in at once.  In case you haven't noticed, I don't like dealing with too many characters at once(which is evident in almost all my fics: I need to work on that).  *hands you some more sugary cookies*  Enjoy.  ;D]  
[To Neko4 - There are times when first person is needed, though.  I guess the reason I wrote it like that was because I thought you needed to get some insight on how Dilandau felt.  And this one was for how Folken feels.  And Van's just fucked up, but who cares?  This is about Folken and Dilandau, he's just an extra!  *sly grin*  Good thing you don't need that invention anymore, ne?  I'm so glad that is over with...  It was killing me.  *o.o*  Having a specific day for writing is useful, though.  Gets it done, at least...]  
[To Kamikaze - Of course it's lemon!  What else would we hentai eat?  ^_~  *hands over lemony cake*  ;D  Actually, I used your idea for this chapter, mostly.  It fit in this story more than any one else's suggestions.  ;)  Thank you for your compliments.]  
[To Ryoki - Yeah, well, Van's just an accessory anyway.  Poor baby.  He's going to get dropped in the end(as if that wasn't expected).  Ohwell.  The romance kind of died in this chapter, didn't it?  *o.O*  Don't worry, it'll be back soon enough.  ^_^]  
[To ArsinoetheXVII - Thanks for your compliments.  Sweetcheeks?  Er...  I haven't seen much of the series, so I don't even _know_ who those people are.  Eh.  And I don't like Threesomes.  I veer away from those as much as I stay away from the sun.  And... Dilandau and Hitomi?  *shudders*  Too many fics like that...  Not to mention I like yaoi better.  No offense, though!  Those are good ideas, just not in my style.  Thanks, anyway.  ;)  Ohh, lollipops...  *sucks on one(oh, that sounds so _naughty_^_~)*]  
[To Angel's breath(oh, mesa like dis name! ;D) - That's all right. I've done that before.  Look at one fic, just one chapter, written nicely...  Next time you see it, it has ten chapters, and it takes you forever to catch up.  Eh.  *@.@*  Thank you for reading, though.  ;) ]  
[To Laura - Yes, waiting is _very_ brutal.  Personal experiences serve as wonderful muses, don't they?  Ho-hai.  Funky?  Good or bad funky?  ^-^;  I love the term 'distraction' now. ;D ]  
[To Alichino - Did it not?  What else were you going to say?]  
[To silver-flame666 - HIYAS!  Squee.  Aw, I'm k00l.  I like that title.  ^-^  *gloats for awhile*  I shall write more, do not fret.  And you have made a mistake – you do not wave a watch in front of someone as _obsessed_ with timepieces as I!  *steals watch and runs off giggling*]

Whoa, I had a lot to say this time.  *o.O*  And, if you guys have any ideas, go ahead and throw 'em my way.  I'll gladly accept them.  ^-^


	8. SixaIt Goes Away

**Title|**Three Sides to the Coin

**Part|**six**a/**seven****

Part Title|It Goes Away 

**Authour|**~sushisama~ (sbolce@esper.com)

**Warnings|**DilandauxVan implications and Van+Hitomi.  The FolkenxDilandau stuffs shall be in the next part.  Fun.

**Disclaimer|**Check first part, please.

**Notes|**Wow... I'm almost done with this fic.  Eh.  I don't want to finish it!  I like it!  *frown*  Ohwell.  I still have the alternates and I could always write more.  Thanks to all of my reviewers!  Over forty... wow.  _None_ of my stuffs have that yet...  ^_^  Hope you guys enjoy.

**/ / = thoughts     [ ] = dreams     ( ) = flashbacks**

::*~~*::

            It wasn't like last time.  It wasn't as pleasant, as wonderful...  In fact, it left Van with a hollow feeling inside.  No where near as satisfying.  
            Once back at the castle, he sat heavily on the bottom step of the long staircase, his head dropped on his chest.  He stared at the stone floor, unmoving, his mind plaguing itself for answers.  
            He had been with Dilandau again.  That was what he had wanted, wasn't it?  ..wasn't it?  He didn't know anymore.  At first, he really wanted the Dragonslayer.  And now... no, the desire was _gone_.  Nothing left.  But... why?  
            It had been incredible.  Van would not deny that much.  Being with his enemy had sated his hormonal hunger, but that was all.    
            / First I can't get him out of my mind... / he thought wearily to himself.  / Now, I don't want to think about him ever having even _touched_ me.  What the hell? /  
            Van wanted the thrill.  That was why he had gone after Dilandau once more.  But now that he had done it once more... no, there was nothing.  Which, in a way, was a relief for him.  Needing someone that much, that you couldn't have around all the time, was getting to him.  
            That, and he had been feeling incredibly guilty about it.  Lying to everyone about why he was acting differently, what he had done to Hitomi...  He wanted to apologize to everyone.    
            "Van?"   
            The king turned his head in the direction of the voice.  / Déjà vu... / he thought.  Hitomi was standing a few steps above him, holding a candle, wearing a nightgown.  Just like the night he had first been with Dilandau.  That was only.. two days again...  It seemed longer than that, for some reason.  
            Van didn't respond; he just put his arms around himself, rubbing his shoulders.  
            "Van, are you okay?" Hitomi asked gently, coming down those few steps so she could sit down next to him.  She put a hand on his shoulder.  "Come on, you can tell me..."  
            "Hitomi, I..."  Van gulped.  What was he going to say?  What else could he say?  / The truth... /  "I've done something awful.."  He made sure his eyes remained on the floor: he did not think he could look her in the eyes right now.  
            Hitomi rubbed his shoulder comfortingly.  "What?  What have you done?"  
            Van suddenly felt like weeping.  All the guilt he had been feeling, all the disgust for his actions, all coming into him at once.  He choked back a sob.  "I.. was with someone..."  
            "...oh."  He could hear the drop in her voice. There was an uncomfortable pause.  "Who was she?"   
            Van gulped again.  "It... wasn't a she..."  He hesitated before saying anything else.  
            "It was a guy?" she said in some amount of disbelief.  "It wasn't Allen, now was it..?"  
            He chuckled coldly at the suggestion.  "Allen?  Hell no..."  
            "Then who was it?"  
            Again, he hesitated.  "It was...  You won't believe it..."  
            "Try me."  
            "...Dilandau."  
            He snuck a peek at her face to see what her reaction was.  Her mouth was agape, staring at him with wide eyes.  She did not say anything, just continued to gawk at him.  
            "Dil.. Dilandau?  The pyro?  Our _enemy_?"  
            Van winced at her tone.  "Yeah.  Him."  
            "What were you thinking, Van?"  Her voice was now hard and cynical.  "Why would you do such a thing?"  
            "I was taking a walk the other night, and he just... came up on me," Van admitted.  "He had me pretty much trapped, and forced himself on me, and I... I caved."  
            "You just caved?"  
            Van nodded solemnly.  "Yes.  I needed it, Hitomi..  I really did.  And afterwards..."  
            "Is that why you've been so.. out of it?" she interrupted.    
            He sighed.  "Yeah.  I couldn't stop thinking about him.  How I... I really wanted to do it again."  
            "And where were you tonight?  With him?" she said accusingly, with a hint of jealousy.  
            "Yes, I was."  His eyes locked with hers and held.  "But, Hitomi, it wasn't the same.  It did _nothing_ for me.  It felt good, but the after thoughts made it terrible."  
            "You've no desire to do it again?"  Her eyes were hopeful.  
            Van shook his head.  "No desire whatsoever."  He smiled weakly.  
            "Good," she said, as she wrapped her arms around him and gave him a bear hug.  
            Van hugged her back, glad she did not reject him completely for his stupid actions.  "I'm sorry for worrying you."  
            "It's all right," Hitomi replied, snuggling in his chest.  "I'm just glad that you're out of this."  
            "So am I..."  He pulled her closer.  "So am I..."

Er, yeah...  do with that whatever you like.  I _really_ didn't feel like writing this part.  No inspiration whatsoever.  However, I wanted to go on with the Folken and Dilandau stuffs, which means getting this part out of the way.  I don't want any questions about what happens to Van and stuffs.  I'm lazy.  So, er...  remember that one chapter I thought was shit?  I take it back.  _This_ is shit.  My worst in the fic.  But at least I got it over with...

...and, no, I'm not even going to bother re-writing it.  Unless I _really_ feel like it.  Squee.  I'm just that lazy!


	9. SixbTrying

**Title|**Three Sides to the Coin

**Part|**six**b**/seven****

**Part Title|**Trying

**Authour : **~sushisama~ (sbolce@esper.com)

**Warnings|**DilandauxVan implications.  FolkenxDilandau angst/fluff.  Yaya!

**Disclaimer|**First.  Part.

**Notes|**Only one more part left!  *weep*  And that one's a lemon.  That sucks.  Ohwell.  I hope this part makes up for the lack of substance in the last one.  See, I actually put _thought_ into this one.  So, yeah, squee.  Read and review, and enjoy!

**/ / = thoughts     [ ] = dreams     ( ) = flashbacks**

::*~~*::

            Dilandau was feeling empty.  He was wrong...  so horribly wrong...  He couldn't be with anyone else.    
            Every part of him was yelling at him, telling him what he had just done was betraying Folken.  But Folken had said that he wanted nothing to do with the child unless he could admit his feelings.  He wasn't betraying Folken; Folken had betrayed _him_.  
            / I'm lying to myself, though, / Dilandau thought bitterly.  / I still want him.  Want to be with him.  All I have to do is say that I... I... /  
            "_No_," the pyro hissed to himself as he walked quietly down the hall to his chamber.  "I will not say it.  Because I do not mean it.  I do not care for him in such a manner."  
            / ..liar, / some wretched voice in the back of his mind said.    
            "Shut-up, shut-up..."  Dilandau found himself in front of his door.  He stopped and stared at it, wondering what he should do.  He had not been back for two days.  He had gone to see Van and then... he just didn't come back up until tonight.  What time was it?  It had to be near two in the morning.  
            Dilandau's thoughts kept recycling themselves over and over.  He would think of the other night with Folken, his final confrontation with the commander.  Which would lead to thinking about what all he had said, all he had done.  Folken's words seeped into his mind, making him question his decision on what to say to the Strategos.  When he thought of that, it would lead to thinking that he might actually... care... about him.    
            His pride would only let him go to the 'possibility' of 'caring' for the Strategos.  The other direction... 'love', he would not go towards.  His pride would just not allow it. Which was probably why he was the one at fault, not Folken.  He wouldn't let himself open up to the fact that he might-  
            / Enough. /  He rubbed his temple, as though he had a headache.    
            Whenever he thought of what this all might mean to him, he'd then think of a way to prove it wrong.  Like, fucking Van.  That seemed to have back-fired on him, though.  Now he didn't know what to do, or what to think.    
            Dilandau leaned heavily against his door, suddenly feeling tired.  He was lacking that last bit of strength to open the door and go through, to collapse on his bed.  He had done nothing but wander around for the past two days, and was feeling mentally and physically exhausted.  
            "What am I going to do...?"  
            "Where have you been?" a voice drawled behind him.  
            Dilandau looked up to lock eyes with the dark and stoic ones of the last person he wanted to see right now.  He smirked, trying to force himself to display his normal 'bad-boy' attitude, but it was lost.  "Folken..."  
            The Strategos didn't even try to hide his concern.  "Dilandau, you really should-"  
            "Just," Dilandau interrupted, rubbing his temples again, "just fuck off.  I don't want to see you right now."  
            / Liar, / that voice called again.  
            Folken stood silently before the child for a moment, not making any motion to leave.  It was starting to bother Dilandau.  Why wouldn't the man just leave him alone?  Nothing he did was going to change what had happened between them.  Nothing.  
            Dilandau slid down the door until he was sitting.  His head was hung so he would not have to look into the dark and soulless eyes of Folken.  "Just go away..."  
            "Dilandau, this isn't about-"  
            "_Go away_," the child growled, standing up suddenly.  "Or do you not understand?"  His eyes took a hard expression as they focused on Folken's.  "Is it unusual for you to be on the rejected side, Folken?  Is it painful?"  
            Folken stayed silent under the youth's glare.  "It would be painful either way," he stated.  
            Dilandau let out a frustrated scream.  "Then why...!?  Damn it, Folken!"  He gripped his hair violently.  "Don't do this!  Don't say shit like that but still keep a straight face at the same time!"  His hand gripped the hilt of his sword.  "God, I hate you, Strategos.  Everything that you've done to me, I hate.  I hate the way you treat me, the way you tease me."  
            His sword was drawn with the skill and grace that Folken would only expect from the child.  He had little time to admire, though – he was some-what startled by the child's unspoken threat and took a subconscious step backwards.  
            "Dilandau," Folken nearly pleaded, wanting to stop him from doing something rash and _painful_.  
            But Dilandau went on as if he hadn't heard the man.  "I hate the way I feel towards you, I hate just wanted _you_, I hate the fact that I can't fuck someone else without feeling I've _betrayed_ you, the guilt I feel afterwards."  Dilandau stepped closer to him, sword outstretched.  Folken had no where to go but backwards, which wasn't far, for they were in a small dead-ended hall.  The tip of the blade was right over Folken's heart.  
            "I shouldn't be guilty, Folken," the Dragonslayer continued, his voice becoming hoarse.  The blade shook in his hand as he went on, "I shouldn't even _care_, but I _do_, and I despise this feeling.  And, instead of making it go away like I hoped you would, you made it worse by _leaving_ me.  Because I won't say something, because I can't tell you how I _feel_."    
            He paused, making sure his eyes were still locked with the commander's.  Folken was perfectly still, only looking some-what nervous.  / Good-fucking-mask, if you ask me.  If it were me, I'd be a little more terrified... /  
            "And I hate it.  All of it."  Dilandau's voice started to die, as he felt himself weakening.  He felt like he was about to cry, being torn so badly from all of this.  "I hate you.  The way I feel.  I hate the fact that I..  I..."  He choked back a sob, knowing what he wanted to say, but not exactly how to say it without going insane.  He could no longer hold back his tears though, as he felt one slide down his cheek.  "That I...  I..."  
            Folken reached out his hand and grasped the child's wrist, to which Dilandau instantly let go of the sword and dropped it, making a clanking sound as it connected with the floor.  He pulled him close, wrapping his hands around the broken boy.  
            Dilandau buried his head into the commander's chest.  "I..."  He sniffed, feeling the tears coming despite his protests.  "I can't say it, Folken.  I can't tell you what you want to hear..."  
            "Would you only say it to make me happy, Dilandau?" Folken whispered as he gently stroked his back with his flesh arm.  
            Dilandau did not answer at first, merely sobbing into the man's chest.  When he did not say anything for a lengthy amount of time, Folken said, "Well, I can't stop you from hating me.  And I can't stop you from loving me, either.  I can only make it better.  Maybe make you stop hating it..."  
            Dilandau snuggled into the warmth beneath him.  "I could...  I can try."  
            Folken smiled weakly.  "That's all I ask for, Dilandau.  Just try."  He kissed the top of his head affectionately.  
            The teen felt himself starting to slip away.  The sleepiness he had felt before was coming back to him with full force.  He closed his eyes, leaning heavily on the Strategos.  He felt some-what assured now.  He didn't have to actually _admit_ anything, but he had gotten his feelings off his chest.  And with that came welcoming results...  
            After a few moments of complete silence, Folken looked down at the body in his arms, bringing a small smirk to his lips.  Dilandau had fallen asleep.    
            He cradled the child's head in his flesh arm as he leaned him back a bit and bent down, so he could put his right arm under Dilandau's legs and pick him up.  He carried him to the door and opened it, bringing the child inside of his room.  He gently set him on the bed.  
            He stared down at the sleeping form, smiling.  This wasn't... exactly what he wanted, but closer than he had been.  Maybe he could, one day, get Dilandau to voice his real feelings out loud.  But that could wait.  He was just happy with the little he had said tonight.  He gentle kissed Dilandau on the lips, murmuring, "Sleep well, love.  I'll be here when you wake up."

You know what?  I think I'll title the next chapter, "Folken Finally Gets Some".  *lol*

And, yes, that was short.  Eh.  *shrugs*  I've had a large amount of writer's block recently, and just wanted to... get it out.  I'll probably re-write this part sooner or later.  Hmm.  Ohwell.

Squee.  Almost done with this fic...  *sighs*  Anyway, shout-out time –

[To Zempress - This fic seems to be a first Dilandau/Folken fic for a lot of people.  Ho-hai.  *o.O;*  I find that some-what strange.  Celena?  Eh, squee.  I may write a fic about that some time, but not now.  Doesn't exactly fit.  Maybe for a sequel...?  *shrugs*  And thank you for submitting something to my contest.  You're the only that has so far.  *sigh*  Ohwell.  Maybe those slackers will read this and get to it, ne?  ^_~  I liked your fic, btw.  Entertained me thoroughly.  ;D  Keep writing, friend.]  
[To Neko4 - Hmm.  Now, if I would just _use_ that bloody day for writing...  ^_^;;]  
[To Ryoki - Hye, man, I love angst.  ;P  And I did make up my mind, a long time ago: Dilandau and Folken forever!  Squee!  ^__^  I used your idea for the 'a' part of this chapter, btw.  Teehee.  Thanks for the tip.  ;)]  
[To Liland Dragoncross -  Aw, thank you.  ^-^  Yes, he does screw himself over a lot, doesn't he?  *l*  Poor, ignorant thing.  ;)]  
[To Kamikaze - Doujinshi pic!?  *O.O!*  Squee!  Give sushi addie to pic!  She will love you foreve~r.  ^-^  Teehee.  Lemon is nice.  You shall get more lemon next chapter.  ;D  And, yes, writer's block is very evil.  Keh.  I captured deep character?  Kick ass.  I did good job, then.  ^_^  *hands you more lemony pie*  ;D]  
[To Demoniak Angel -  Hmm?  You what?]  
[To Akiima Lo - I won't separate them for any longer, don't worry.  ;)  And I thank you for the offer.  I feel like I'm worth something now!  Bruu.  ^__^]  
[To Maria Ferrari - It's all right, your English isn't that bad.  You speak a lot better than people I've seen.  *-.-;*  And thank you.  ^_^]  
[To C-vampire - Addicted?  *lol*  Do you need a patch for when it's over, so you don't go through withdrawal?  *smirks*  Squee.  I got called 'sweetie'.  Tee-_hee_.  ^_~]

Keep the reviews coming.  Only one more part to go, friends.  ;D


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